Bad Behavior Is Not a Strategy. It’s a Liability.
There’s a low rumble growing louder in leadership conversations— Can you hear it?
Post-COVID, we clapped. We gave bonuses. We embraced the battle cry of work-life balance.
We expanded HR committees into emotional triage centers. We made room for burnout. We let things slide. We lowered the bar and left it there in many cases. Meanwhile, other organizations and professionals picked up the mantle of hard work and carried it forward.
And now? We’re seeing the cost:
🔹 Missed deadlines and sloppy deliverables
🔹 An absence of appreciation or kindness in our tone
🔹 Less than polite behavior
🔹 Complaining louder than contributing
When Top Performers Get the Same Perks as Low Performers
Every company has top performers. They don’t need constant praise—they want results. What they don’t want is to keep carrying the water for those who won’t show up—or worse, those who do, only to deflect responsibility and avoid the real work.
And then there are the others:
Constantly taking
Consistently avoiding responsibility
Growing more entitled with every quarter
Believing that curt tones, foul language, and 9 a.m. Sunday texts reflect leadership or build morale is a fundamental misunderstanding of both.
I’m not talking about natural ebb and flow. I’m talking about chronic withdrawal, with no deposit.
Eventually, someone says, “Enough.”
And by then, it’s already cost your professional climate in terms of talent, innovation, and revenue.
Your Brain on Bad Behavior
When we avoid hard things—miss deadlines, dodge direct feedback, show up late—our brains experience real chemical shifts.
When we avoid hard things, we activate the amygdala and limbic system, where stress, shame, and the emotional hangover of procrastination take hold.
But when we do the hard things—lead with hard listening, or meet the deadline 48 hours early, review the work one more time, say thank you, or offer to help—we activate the prefrontal cortex. That’s where discipline, motivation, and self-trust live.
Do hard things. On time and with pride. That’s how you build trust—not just with others, but with yourself.
As Dr. Andrew Huberman puts it:
“Dopamine is not about reward. It’s about the pursuit.”
Discipline followed by action. Action followed by consistency. That’s how leaders are built.
You Have Agency. Are You Using It?
Every meeting. Every deadline. Every conversation.
You’re choosing your tone, your time, and goal— Or you’re choosing not to choose, which is still a decision. And, we know the result of that decision.
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When we don’t take agency, we:
Complain instead of solving
Avoid instead of communicating
Gossip instead of lead
Procrastinate instead of executing
Alienate others with our lack of appreciation and collaboration
So here’s the real question: When did being accountable, direct, and kind become so rare?
Lessons from Fish, Nurses, and Buc-ee's
Pike Place Market, Seattle – The first stop after my Dad picked me up at SeaTac when I would visit him in Seattle. The fishmongers weren’t just throwing salmon. They were throwing joy, standards, and a shared mission. That energy became the FISH! Philosophy (2000):
Choose your attitude
Be present
Make their day
Play
Valley Children’s Hospital, Madera, California – my first job in healthcare recruitment. The CNO and RN leaders were working toward Magnet designation. The excitement was invigorating. They were accessible, gracious, and efficient. I learned lessons from that group that I still talk about today.
Buc-ee’s, Texas – Last Christmas, Justin and I did a road trip from Nashville to Los Angeles to visit clients and friends along the way. While traveling through the Southwest, Buc-ee's was a lesson on consistent, high-production professionalism at every stop. If you ever have an opportunity to hire anyone who has worked at Buc-Eee's for any position in your organization, do it now. They will probably have your job by next year!
Kindness, consistency, and competency aren’t radical. They should be the standard.
Five Questions to Ask Yourself
If you're not sure how bad behavior is showing up in your organization, start here:
Do I dread getting emails from someone at work, or do I send emails that others dread to read?
Are deadlines routinely missed without consequence? Am I missing deadlines or allowing others to do it?
Are hard conversations avoided because the reaction “isn’t worth it”? Am I taking things too personally or too afraid to speak up because of how someone might react?
Is back channelling tolerated and direct conversations avoided? Anytime someone says, let me call Bob and get back to you- It should be, let's get Bob on the phone and sort this out.
Are meetings unproductive, and no one’s willing to fix it? Am I leading lousy meetings or showing up and just "going with the flow?"
Start with awareness. End with accountability. This isn’t about perfection—it’s about ownership.
You’re either allowing bad behavior, participating in it, or modeling it. Often, it’s a mix of all three.
Or—you could be the one to raise the standard.
The organizations that thrive are led by those who hold the line, not with slogans, but with standards. Standards that build trust, drive performance, and establish a professional environment where results and respect coexist.
Because bad behavior isn’t a strategy. And no organization can afford to normalize it.
